Ready for POLYDAYS!

Lately I've been trying to blog, but i found myself stuck.

I have zillions of drafts dated before Pleistocene that should be corrected and published, or at least i should translate the older posts. I'd really like you guys to know how I spent Carnival with Thomas, or how're my studies going, or tell you about my new “crushes”, but for a reason or the other, i always end up delaying.

So I ended up accumulating a huge backlog of posts, and I don't know if or when I'll be able to publish everything. It's the story of my life: I've never been able to deliver my drawings in time at the high school, except for when I stayed up untill late the night before.

I' m not even able to respect the bottom lines i set up for myself, and I'm always late at dates. It's a reality, unfortunately...

Not only blog posts, but even important decisions will be delayed untill september.

Now I just want to enjoy my holidays with Moreno, just like i enjoyed my brief trip to Bavaria last week. I'll blog about it too, sooner or later...

I want to spend time with the people I love, without planning things too much.

After september exam session, I'll be able to take a breath and relax a bit, but I'll also have to decide what to do with my poly-life: what to keep and what to “throw away” of these last months, how to behave with some people I like, and how to protect ourselves from our detractors (and we're starting to have a lot of them... so it means we're doing an excellent job!).

I'm actually dating 6 persons in total, be them lovers, friends with benefits, or life-long partners. And it's a very big number for me. I'm not sure i can dedicate the right amount of time/energy to everyone, and I don't want this people to be unhappy. But I also don't want my lovelife to take time and energies from other aspects of my life.

Love should add energies to our lives, not take them away!

There's also another person i'm starting to like, but for now everything is just so vague!

I don't know if I'm liked back and if I'm strong enough to accept a refusal, and even if i was, I don't know if I'll be able to give enough to this person, be it as friend, lover, partner or wathever. I don't even know what their expectation could be on “us”.

But we're getting to know each other for now, and it feels good.

I'm sure the future will tell us the answers we need.

Considering how am I “special” at socializing, it's already a miracle that I'm able to actually *talk* to someone I like, so everything else is coming will be more than welcome!

I want to reassure our readers: if you don't hear from us, it means that our life satisfies us and it's full of interesting things that distract us from blogging, so we're happy!

In these months we've been through wonderful moments and others more problematic ones, and now we can finally take a relieving sigh.

We've had to cope with some unpleasant people, people that, unsatisfied of their own lives, were trying to make us feel unfit, just as much as they are.

But obviously their attempts failed miserably, and we know now that what makes us strong, besides the fact that we're so united, os our will to never compromise about whart we are.

We always try to be ourselves, no matter if we'll be judged for that.

I've found myself feeling compassion instead of hate for that people that judge us and that clearly fear people's judgement.

They keep lying, they keep trying to look like what their listener mostly likes, but in the end nobody really knows them, nodoby trust them, no one can love them or get close to them.

To shield themeselves from society, they lose themselves. They're not individuals anymore. They can look good, even polite and nice to others or well-educated, but in the end they're just empty shells.

I keep having the feeling that certain people put themselves in a cage, and i can't do anything to help them open their eyes. All i can do is hear their silent scream coming from deep within.

So I've decided to stop thinking of them too much, and I want to take care of people that love me as I am instead.

That's all for now, enjoy your Polydays, I surely will!! :*

b

NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS!

I' ve made a little board with my personal resolutions for 2011.

I'm usually not a Girlish girl that makes resolutions and i don't read the horoscope (except when i'm inlove with someone, i know, i0m weird), but since now i live with Moreno, i think we need to write down a few goals to keep in mind, so that we can be a bit more organised and more focused  on what we want.

I' ve written the board in japanese, because i want to enforce the concept i should think of everything in japanese, so it's easier to learn it well and practice.

I know Moreno is the typical rude boy that doesn't give a shit about resolutions or horoscopes, so i know he won't mind not being able to read the board.

Anyways, my new year's resolutions are:

1)STUDY  EVERY DAY

(don't laugh, please. I know it sounds ridiculous,and maybe it is, but i want at least try! The thing is not to really study a lot every single day, but to study more than i've done until now.

2)DO MORE MOVEMENT

I mean, more than zero, which is the amount of movement I'm doing now. Running when the weather permits it, otherwise yoga and exercising at home. [a proposito], I'm going to take a dance mat and other fun games of ps2 and eyetoy. Who said that exercise has to be boring?

3)MONEY: EARN AT LEAST 300€ PER MONTH

again, it's more than what I've done in 2010! Earning more with a saltuary, part-time job would be unrealistic...

4)BOOKS: READ MORE

and also, finish the translation of The Book. I want to go back to the days i used to read a lot, and people gave me books as presents when they didn't know what to buy me. Now they buy me.. purses. And cups. Yeah.

5)PERSONAL GOALS: VOLUNTEER

with the red cross, or animal protection, apply for the civil service, donate blood, etc.

6)MY PASSIONS: be artsy again

maybe i'll take a watercolour course with my friend, or maybe i'll just start painting home by myself, and i'll start also working for the blog. Anyways, i'm planning to be back to painting!

Another creative thing i',ll do will be knitting, hopefully with the help of moreno's mom!

7)GREEN THUMB: gardening, and eat our own veggies. Or at least this year i don't want to kill my plants anymore!

8)HOME: BUY SOME FUCKING FURNITURE AND A FUCKING BED

I mean, a REAL one, super-size bed. And make room for my books and create a place to study in peace! No kittens nor humans allowed.

9)PERSONAL GOALS: STOP WASTING TIME

that is toi say: reduce the online time, and the lazy time doing nothing or daydreaming.

Transform that time in gstudyh time,  gmeh time, gcreativeh time, doing healthy activities that make me happy. Be it alone, or with company.

 10)BOYCOTT: STOP BUYING USELESS TOXIC COSMETICS TESTED ON ANIMALSand buy more natural, sustainable stuff!

11)BE LESS SHY!

Have the courage of my feelings, express what i really think, especially with the people i like. It's the most difficult, that's why it's the last one. And also, be able to take care of my partners, and nurture our relationships with all the love and care i'm capable of, without restraining myself and never let my fears push me away from them.

Please notice that i haven't added "blog more regularly" or "more frequently"h among them, because right now i really don't have the time to blog regularly, i don't have enough partners nor enough experience in poly relationships to be a [punto di riferimento] to anyone and i sometimes just want to take my time from the internet and be alone. In fact, this year should be the ginternet detoxh year, so don't expect too much from me. I alredy consider the amount of time i'll spend working for blog illustrations as a bonus time i'm spending on the blog, and with Tom writing we can [dividerci il lavoro].

Consider that this is a blog i write for my own [piacere], since there's no form of advertising on it, and i don't gain any money from it. When you have a [passatempo], you can still like it and do it well only if it's not a job, with no regular schedules and not being forced to update your work every single day/week.

So to be able to continue liking this blog, i must not take it too seriously!

It's a thing i do for me and for the few that reads, not for a living.

Whenever something relevant happens in my life, i'll find the time and the right words to write about it, and that's it. That's the only guarantee you can have.

Hope it's enought for making this blog worth reading and I hope it's enough to make it useful for someone.