09 June 2011

Emotional Outsourcing

To make poly work you need so many diverse emotional skills... you need to be able to put yourself into the mind of others, you need to both be emotionally attuned to your surroundings, but also keep a cold, clear head and think logical, you need to be sensitive, but also have a solid skin...

I doubt any single person has all the skills it needs to understand, know and deal with the many issues of any relationship and partner(s). BUT you are afterall, not alone. Humanity didn't become the dominate kind because we all can do everything, no, we know how to cooperate, to use the skills of those with talent for a goal...

Why not do the same in a relationship?

I personally, rather recently, got stuck - emotionally, logically maybe, about a certain situation and I was unable to see anything but my own viewpoint and only reinforced it. Poor me, life is so horrible and everyone is unfair. B however - once I started to listen - shared her insight, the completly different viewpoint, highlighted with the skills and feelings she has... I am more of a cold thinker, logical to the core, emotionally crippled and distanced... I can tell her when she falls in love with the wrong kind of person... but she can could see me better then I could see myself.

By respecting her words and understanding that she understands things in a different and maybe more accurate way, I found the strength to say "Sorry", a word so hard to say that I'd rather salt my own eyeball.

You are not alone, accept the insight of your partner(s)

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